A number of years ago while I was still in school, I attended a shiur given on Messila Yesharim, given by a Rabbi who traveled more than an hour each way once a week. Sometime in the middle of the year, the men in the shiur were invited to spend a Shabbat with him and his family in Lakewood (women were invited for a different Shabbat). On Friday night at the Shabbat table, I posed the following question (not a direct quote – my memory is not that good):

“Why is it that so much of the American Chareidi world is seemingly indifferent about aliyah and Eretz Yisrael. It doesn’t seem like something that is seen as having such a high priority for many in the Yeshiva world – this is despite that fact that nearly all Rishonim say that it is a Torah commandment to live in Eretz Yisrael.” This seemed like an appropriate thing to ask in the conversation, since we had just been talking about how one of his children had gone to kollel in Yerushalayim (if I remember correctly) and had decided to come back to America.”

(By the way, did you know that the branch of the Lakewood Yeshiva located in Yerushalayim is called “Lakewood East”? Such chutzpah! I would not be surprised if to do so would be transgressing the negative prohibition of speaking disparagingly of the Land of Israel and its Jewish inhabitants – the sin of the spies. But I digress…)

The response that I received:

“Yes, it is important to live in Israel. But it is so hard. Young people try to go there, but it is hard for them to be away from their families in America.”

Ok, I have heard explanations before along these lines. I can totally understand how it can be very hard for people to make aliyah. I was a bit surprised to here such a blasé response to my query after having heard this Rabbi speak so fervently about Shmirat haMitzvot and Avodat Hashem, but fine, I can accept it. The next part of the conversation is the part that got to me.

After talking about the Rabbis family and grandchildren, he started talking about how there are so many large families in Lakewood (ie: 5-10 children). He spoke about how it was such a great mitzvah to bring Jewish children into the world and he knew so many people who were so commited to raising large frum families.

I observed: “I agree that it is a really tremendous mitzvah that these people are doing. But don’t you think that after having a certain number of children, if a family is living in poverty and cannot afford to support the needs of more children, that they should stop having children. Or maybe after a certain number of children, the parents can no longer mentally cope with the burden of more children. Should”

Reply: “Absolutely not! It is a great mitzvah to have children. If a person finds themself in a bad financial situation, why should this decision affect whether or not to have more children. Hakodosh Baruch Hu will provide – you need to have bitachon (faith) that the support will come. I have seen so many situations where a family decided to have more children when they may not have been able to afford it – and then after they had the child, the money came from somewhere”.

Me: “But aren’t we taught ‘Ein Somchin al haNeis‘ (one should not assume that a miracle will occur)? The fact that you know of stories where financial support appeared after a couple had more children does not mean that we can assume this will always come. And anyway, after a man has a son and a daughter, there is no more mitzvah from the Torah to have children. True, there is a rabbinical mitzvah to have more children, but if a person has already fulfilled the Torah commandment of Peru uRevu and can not longer afford to have more children, how can they then go and have more children that they absolutely cannot afford to maintain and who will be living in poverty.

Reply: “It is still not a reason not to have more children. We need to have bitachon that Hashem will provide”. Etc, etc, etc.

The thing that I still remember about this experience is how on one issue (having children after one has fulfilled the Torah commandment and there are other mitigating factors like money or mental health), all I heard was: it is a great mitzvah, we need to have bitachon. When it comes to the Torah commandment of settling in the Land of Israel, it was excuses. This attitude was kind of scary to me – after all, the Rabbi who expressed it to me was (and is, and with God’s help will be for many years) a wonderful scholar, teacher, mentor, father, grandfather, etc who is able to command the respect of anyone he encounters. Yet, when it came to leaving “home” in order to go Home, it was not even something to be considered, something to be regretful over. It was excuses. If the people in the diaspora to whom we are looking to lead out communities are not able to realize the importance of the Land of Israel today to the Jewish people, what will it be tomorrow (or in 5 years)?