The choice is just not that simple. Try this one: how can someone choose to use birth control? In the general (halachic) case, it is preferable not to, and to have many children, but there are dozens of other factors that come into play, including health concerns and shalom bayit. Or this one: how can someone “choose” to work as a lawyer or an accountant or any number of other things, when instead s/he could be learning in kollel all day? Isn’t it preferable to devote as much time to Torah learning as possible?

Tamar, I wasn’t saying that aliyah would present the same or similar hardships – I was merely trying to draw the comparison that for every generally “preferable” option, there are certain circumstances that may warrant – or even require – choosing a (temporary or permanent) solution that appears to be less preferred. (For example, a couple that greatly desires and can afford more children may be halachicly obligated to use contraception due to the potential of serious danger of a pregnancy to the wife’s health.) It’s not even necessarily a question of being “difficult” to live in Israel – would you suggest that someone leave behind an ill parent in order to make aliyah?

My husband and I have seriously considered aliyah, and at the time of our discussion on the matter it was not the right option for us. Nor will it be within the next couple of years. However, it is a topic that we will revisit, just as we periodically evaluate the courses of our careers, our community, our spiritual growth, and countless other matters. I recognize that you wrote a conditional apology, but, to be frank, I find it somewhat irritating that many of those people who have made are are about to make aliyah consider it acceptable to be judgmental and dismissive first of those of us still in Galut…and only later stop to think, “Hmmm, well, maybe they have a reason.” I try very hard not judge others for many other halachic and hashkafic decisions they make that are different from mine, and I expect the same from them.