(This list was compiled by a someone I know who has been very involved with Shidduch dating in Israel over the past few years, based on her experiences, both good and bad, during this time. She asked me if I knew any way to publicize it, so naturally, I am posting it here. If any guy has a similar list about the ladies and would like me to post it as well, please let me know – Yaakov)

1. Make the Initial Call ASAP – After being set up ask when the girl would like to be called AND CALL as soon as you can because she is waiting for your call. Bonus points if you have put thought into where to go before you call.
2. Show interest in the person you’re dating – This applies even before the first phone call. This means checking out some basic facts beforehand (a big turn off for girls is when the guy says oh so sweetly- tell me about yourself because I don’t know anything – if you don’t know anything about her then why did you agree to go out?)
3. Find a convenient place and time for Both of you to meet.
4. Look nice for the date – Just like girls put in effort to look nice, so should you. That means showering, wearing a nice shirt, deodorant, etc.
5. Ask her questions on the date about herself – Try to get to know the person you’re dating. Do not assume that when she doesn’t volunteer information it is because she wants to keep it private. Girls like it when guys show interest in them through questions and such. (Of course there may be things she won’t want to say- so if she seems to be avoiding a question, don’t push it). One of the top complaints from girls about the date is when the guy talks the whole time. Even if she is asking a lot of questions, find a way to ask questions to her as well. She may be trying to avoid awkward silences and thus not sitting there and waiting for you to ask her something. Any questions she asks of you, you can ask back to her.
6. Make sure your date gets home okay – Walk her to the bus stop and wait with her (unless she insists not to). This is proper courtesy. Think of it this way- in America you’d be expected to drive her home and here all you have to do is wait for her in the bus stop. Of course, if you are from a chevra where it is mekubal to take the date home in a cab – that’s of course great – in which case it’s usually preferable to sit in the back with her.
7. Call After Every Date – After every date CALL the next day so you can both decide if you’re continuing or not. And when you want to show the girl that you like her and are hoping to build a more serious relationship-call every day. Being in touch on a constant basis builds up relationships very quickly. If you can’t call for whatever reason then let her know- be it by text message or shadchanit.
8. Go out twice a week – Of course there are some busy weeks where it can be difficult to find the time to go out twice but in general it can be done. This shows you’re serious about dating. Dragging it out makes it very difficult to build a relationship.

Not following these suggestions usually signals four things to the girl:

1. You don’t have proper midot
2. You are too busy now to be dating
3. You are not interested in her (if you’re not interested clearly you shouldn’t go out. A girl will be much less inclined to set you up with someone else if she thinks you’re not acting properly.)
4. This is how you would treat a marriage

It’s chaval if a potential relationship ends over such things when they can be prevented. The way we build a relationship while dating shows how we view the marriage relationship.

Behatzlacha!